By Sithabile Nsele
A powerful workshop on domestic abuse brought students together at the South Campus Gymnasium, where they engaged in the “How to L.O.V.E. Training Session.” Hosted in partnership with ADAPT (Agisanang Domestic Abuse Prevention & Training), the session aimed to equip students with tools to recognise and confront the often-hidden signs of abuse in relationships.
Built around the message “ABUSE IS NOT LOVE,” the training challenged misconceptions that limit abuse to physical violence only. Facilitators highlighted that abuse can also be emotional, psychological, financial and even digital, stressing the need to identify subtle patterns of control and manipulation that are just as harmful.
Shelezile Mthethwa, social worker and one of the facilitators, underscored the importance of awareness. “My responsibility at TUT is to work with students at the University and educate them on intimate partner violence. I hope that from what we shared today, students will take the warning signs very seriously. Abuse is not love and with this knowledge, they can also help others,” she said.
Shelezile Mthethwa, social worker and one of the facilitators,
Jannifer Libisi, Student Development and Support (SDS) staff member, commended the initiative, adding, “We are grateful for this event. We hope students took notes and will be able to communicate with their partners without fear. This training benefits both genders and will make a real difference in relationships.”
A key focus of the workshop was “The 9 Signs” of abusive behaviour (see more detail below). ADAPT facilitators walked students through each warning sign, showing how intimidation, isolation, excessive monitoring or manipulation can creep into relationships.
SDS Psychologist, Nomsa Bokaba, emphasised the broader purpose of the programme. “The event in collaboration with ADAPT, was to help students identify the signs of abuse. This forms part of our broader Gender-Based Violence awareness efforts. We want students to know the signs, report them and remember that our SDS offices are available to provide therapy sessions and support,” she said.
Nomsa Bokaba, SDS Psychologist
The 9 Signs of Abuse
Remember: Abuse is not love
- Control – dictating who you see, what you do or where you go.
- Isolation – cutting you off from friends, family or support.
- Intimidation – using threats, anger or looks to create fear.
- Criticism – constant insults or belittling comments.
- Monitoring – checking your phone, messages or whereabouts obsessively.
- Jealousy – accusing you of cheating or being unfaithful without reason.
- Financial control – taking your money or limiting access to resources.
- Manipulation – guilt-tripping or gaslighting to make you doubt yourself.
- Physical or sexual violence – any unwanted force, assault or coercion.
What to do: If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these signs, reach out to Student Development and Support (SDS) or a trusted professional for help.
The training left a lasting impression on attendees, reinforcing the idea that education is a key step in breaking the cycle of abuse. With the new knowledge and practical tools, students are better prepared to foster respectful relationships and support peers who may be suffering in silence.
Attendees listen attentively and take note during the training
Tshilidzi Nemaxwi, Peer Educator speaking during the training
SDS Champions